Cloud Disorder

Too long. Did it again. Feh. Jacked in too long. Sixteen, maybe seventeen hours this time. Thought my eyes were permanently fuzzy. The cloud was teasing me: "Just one more link." "one more vid." "one more pic." "one more torrent." My bot is filled with "one more's," backlogged, bookmarked. [Boondoggled is more like it. One more "one more" and it will be truly borked.]

Took a white tab, 'bout halfway through the day. Hummed me right into prime-time. Green one at midnight, to wind it down.

Just jacked-out, and it's four AM. The drip ran dry hours ago; my mouth is a forest of toothpicks. Legs are covered halfway with pins and needles; any gesture radiates the whole lower half of my body, and it feels like I'm going to lose my legs to poor circulation. I'm air-peddling in my hammock right now, no matter how much it hurts.

Found some unaccosted code, tucked away behind about twenty layers of a .net. Some old AJAX sitting in a dark room. Nobody wanted it, and wasn't a honeypot. Nomenclature of Gee-male, or some such. Just sitting there all by it's lonesome in a little blue executable cube, not connected to anything. So I copied it. Only a couple hundred gig. I know a guy that knows a guy that has access to old blades. Self-reminder to call him tomorrow.

Hard to focus. Jack aches like a son-of-a-bitch. Getting too hot and searing skin. I have an inch-thick callous, but it's useless. Still hurts. Burns are coming through now, and visibly. I don't want to go out at all, even with a scarf. People still notice.

But it's my job motherfucker. I need this jack like you need that cheap whore to tell you what a monster you are in bed: often and badly.

Anyway, my whole point of posting this was to find other ways to cope staying plugged-in for extended periods of time. I'm sure there are plenty of you. How long and how often? Has anyone ever told you that you jack-in too much? What do you do to cope?

Braxton Pipp

[Crazeebaer626 sez: a protein drip and a good hammock is all you need. The rest is superfluous. My record, by the by, is 22 hours]

[Jannavive sez: Don't forget to eat a big carb meal before you jack-in. Wow CB, you're walking the bleeding edge. Only 10 hours here.]

[2Paul2 sez: You're all nuts. I'm a developer for Samsung, and not even our test subjects stay jacked for more than eight hours. We design our shunt around the notion that people don't voluntarily abuse themselves like that. My personal record is eight hours, because I will not subject my body to that kind of self-desvastation. We get permanently IVed when we're hired, so it's easier to hook up a drip. I do eat a high-carb meal before-hand, and I stretch before and after my trip.]

[Crazeebaer626 sez: Paul, you're the nut if you honestly believe people only plug-in responsibly. How many WOW players are there again?]

[Z&Bob& sez: 208 million, or approx. the population of Canada. Also of note, it is the largest channel in the cloud ... like the whole thing. It takes up more cycles than any other computing model/program, distributed or otherwise.]

[80sWhorinWarren sez: @bob: stfu go paladin somewear ells. @CrZB: u nvr did 22hrs n00b. go pwn urslf.]

[80sWhorinWarren has been permanently banned by TheSparkingDonut. Reason: "pwn this, dumbass."]

This work by Michael W. Hyde is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.